Monday, February 2, 2009

The art of not staring deeply into someone's eyes

I get asked the question quite frequently, "Emily, if I see a cute guy at a bar for instance, how do I actually get up the nerve to make conversation?" Your average dating advice giver might say "Well, duh, make eye contact" as a plausible and seeminly rational first step towards initiating contact. 

However, as a dedicated devotee of pseudo-dating, I would argue the opposite. A key rule of pseudo-dating is to make as LITTLE eye contact as possible. Eye contact = interest = hope, and hope --> expectations. And remember, expectations are the number one no-no. At said party/bar/gathering/cafe, try to make eye contact with everyone BUT the person you are actually into. Talk to his/her friends and acquaintances, dance nearby, make funny and charming jokes within his/her auditory range, but never come into actual, normal contact with this person.  Follow this up by continued avoidance, especially if you see this person on the street the next week or something horrible like that.

This is a key step to drawing out and ensuring your pseudo-dating capabilities. Because, c'mon, who would actually want to date like a normal person?

4 comments:

sasquatch said...

Great advice...

this excellent example shall give birth to the most awkward generation of all time...

point to add:
if you ever do have eye contact, (god willing this should never happen), point out whatever you think might make them feel insecure or self conscious... this will ensure love and total happiness for the entire length of your relationship... the whole 10 or 20 seconds

Ed Ngai said...

You just described me... I think I need to man up sometimes or just have no sense of shame.

The Coffee Curmudgeon said...

or just do like this guy--

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4D0555EtAZ4

Shania said...

Great entry! Now that I think about it makes total sense. You know I had the feeling of someone being interested in me but I thought cause they were not paying attention that maybe it was my imagination (well not that it matters now because I am married) but it just makes sense.

Thanks for sharing